(Brussels, Belgium)
A Belgian butcher shocked the meat world by announcing that he had created the first ever big ass salami. Theoreticians have long discussed the possibility of such a creation but have stated that the coefficent of haggis would make it impossible. The Belgian native known as Measlafen or loosely translated "meathead", claims that the exact formula came to him in a dream. "I had just put my head down after polishing off a couple vienna bangers and a pint of guinness stout when suddenly I had this vivid hallucination. A black guy named Morphieus came to me in the dream and said that I was the chosen one. He gave me a little yellow pill and the next thing I knew, I woke up with a pounding headache, a sore rectum and a vision of the big ass salami." The Belgian butcher refused to divulge any further information regarding the giant log but did say that he planned to take it on tour, saying that he wanted the whole world to see his giant piece of meat. "However impressive it may be to look at," he said "you really have to put it in your mouth to truely appreciate it's size and quality."