(Havanah, Cuba)
Since making his national debut during Fidel Castros Temptation Island, the media has clamoured for information regarding the reclusive Monkeyboy of Cuba. Despite numerous attempts to gain an interview by the media, all access to the reluctant superstar were denied. PCHC reporter Gavid Dustafson, who broke the story Plight of the prairie chicken, however was finally allowed to speak with monkeyboy.
Monkeyboy lives on a remote island off the Cuban coast in a rusty dipsy dumpster deep in the heart of the jungle. Upon approaching the monkeyboys abode I was first hit with an overpowering stench that burned my eyes and throat like acid. Once I was able to focus, all I could see were heaping piles of cigar butts, empty beenie weenie cans, and steaming dung heaps surrounding monkeyboys dumpster. After hours of searching, I came upon the reculsive star slumped over a toilet with a can of beer in one hand and an outdated Penthouse in the other. Several cups of coffee later I was able to obtain the following interview:
Gavid: So what's it like being the worlds only missing link?
Monkeyboy: Monkeyboy like beenie weenies...
Gavid: Rrrright. So I guess it gets lonely being here by yourself.
Monkeyboy: Monkeyboy got porno mag, monkeyboy just horny.
Gavid: Uh Yeah, anyway Does Fidel ever come by and hang out or are you two on speaking terms?
Monkeyboy: Fidel smoke monkeyboys cigars and steal porno. Monkeyboy no like fidel.
Gavid: In closing, is there anything you would like to tell the world about Monkeyboy?
Monkeyboy: Monkeyboy love Ranjuan, monkeyboy sorry he hurt you, comeback to monkeyboy.