Only weeks after being bludgened outside Yankee stadium for protesting Rockers return to the big apple, an unidentified transvestite set fire to the Cuban embassy in Miami to protest the deportation of Elian Gonzales. "People thought I was a one hit wonder, but now I have a follower and half a pack of matches so watch out America cause the watchdog is on the prowel." When asked why he felt so strongely about Elian, he replied, "Elian, Smelian, I just think Cuba sucks and wanted to burn something real good." An unidentified gimp seen with the transvestite had the following to say, "He promised me booze and cheap whores. When he found me last week, I was living in a van down by the river. He told me to cover myself in feces and dye my hair multiple colors and now my life makes sense." Moments later Miami police arrived and beat the two severly using an arsenal of weapons including two feet of garden hose and sodomized them with a car jack. "We had just seen the movie Gladiator and were really pumped up about getting to wail on someone," said Miami police chief Jason Badson. "Later on we tied them to our bumpers and drove over the railroad tracks a few times. I promise it's a lesson they won't forget anytime soon."