Gimpboy(left), Transvestite Protestor(center) and Jimmy at press conference | Associated Press by Richard Head Citing Guiliani's resignation from the New York senatorial race and the fact that Lazio was a queer little punk, Transvestite protestor (TP) announced his intentions to run for the seat, opposing Hillary Clinton. At a press conference held in his Parents basement, TP announced the bases for his plateform. It consited of "burning down the Empire State building", "lots of beer and sex on New York's dime", and "making John Rocker serve as his 'intern' a la Lewinsky." TP further cited that Hillary was a "beeatch" and that Metallica "ruled". When asked about his experiance as a public servent, TP went into what appeared to be a grand mal seizure after which his assistant Gimpboy went into the audience and set a couple of reporters on fire, thus ending the session. Afterwards TPs new press secretary "Jimmy" had the following to say, "My names Jimmy." |